It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
