i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
