I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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