She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
