i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
