I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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