My Higher Power is John Stamos
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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