just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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