Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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