Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Who died my cat blue again?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
