glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Randomize
