How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
