New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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