"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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