whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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