dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
