I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
