this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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