what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
