Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
