He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
