im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize