remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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