I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
