sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
