I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
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I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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