he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
