All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
