Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
