dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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