somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
