She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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