I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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