basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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