My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
