franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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