Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
