I want to have your abortion
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
