areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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