Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
