I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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