i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Holy shit dude........stairs
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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