i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
