I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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