Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
