I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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