My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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