if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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