What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
