I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
it's like heaven, but drunker
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize