It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
