im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
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