No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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