Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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