Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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