I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
