I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize