There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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