I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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